Sometimes films serve as a great inspiration for some wonderful thoughts. They just plant some thought provoking seeds that keep lingering in your minds and grow into large banyans that turn one’s perspective towards things. A couple of films – both successful Tamil films – ’36 vayathinile’ and ‘English Vinglish’ gave one such thought. Both the films have a wonderful plot in common. Two women, who have compromised their dreams for their families, but find themselves in a spot where they are not treated equal – not by someone else – but by their better halves, their children. The plot of the movies don’t bring any dramatic dialogues on this, but small, very small dialogues that turn their lives into a new direction. Be it, “You are meant to making ladoos” or ” What is there different for you” don’t really seem strong, but they have been so strong on the plots from where the films go.
And this is where I am going to take over from the films. In today’s world, we keep talking about women who have been able to break out of their usual life and make a name for themselves. We are happy to boost the stories of Indra Noyis, Hillary Clintons, Oprah Winsleys, Mary Koms but fail to applaud the efforts of people who are as near as our home. As a son, a brother, a friend, a colleague, a well-wisher, or just as an unknown stranger, do I really have the feel-good feeling for those people. Ideally, I am not in the bad territory to neglect the efforts but I am not being in the good one either. So where does this really put me in?
I love my mother, I love my sisters, I love my friends, but am I just overlooking sometimes. It is very much true that a thank you seems inappropriate to these people. Sometimes fun can get to an extent that we begin to lose the fun altogether. That is where I am trying to bring this conversation. We might not be able to let them follow their missed passions but it is possible to make sure that they don’t regret their sacrifices.
Let me take an example of a friend of mine. For the conversation, let us name her Miss.X. I know X as a very hard working, a passionate engineer who keeps pushing herself to get the best out of the opportunities. But then few of my other friends had the habit of teasing her for something or the other. I know X is very sensitive and doesn’t like being taken to the limits, but she doesn’t reciprocate. She shifted place with a dream of seeing the sunshine over the horizon and she did find the best part of herself at her new place. Today she enjoys her life much as she dreamt. But if I look at someone else, the probability of them, putting the same effort to make a better life is minimal. Most of the time, they compromise on their vision and get used to those things. The point is not about X or any of my friends, but it is about those small things that we fail to recognize that would bring a person down.
There are only a couple of things that I wanted you to think at this point. First, we keep failing to appreciate the efforts, dreams, love, affection of people to whom we are the dearest ones. It goes over our head just because we know they are not going to leave us. Sometimes, a smile or a few words of compassion is all that is needed for them to feel good about their lives. The next point is, sometimes words are very sharp and they are like a two sided swagger. It might hurt your target but will also hurt you. It is better not to make it that sharp and is always better not to take it out. Make sure to remember one thing, they are not a weaker gender. They have their dreams and their visions and do let them take their decisions on their own.
There is always a very thin line between taking care of someone and making someone feel little frustrated. We are too cautious that we tend to over care for someone. Next time, when we ask “How was your day?” make sure we are not crossing that line. Equality is not just about getting the education or enjoying all the rights, it is about getting that love, care and the freedom to do things on their own. It is time we don’t try to clear their paths, rather we just stay as a fallback option making them create their destiny.
At this juncture, I would like to convey my apologies to my mother, my sisters, my friends and all those beautiful relations for taking them for granted and heartfelt gratitudes for their love and affection.
Please share your views to make me a better writer 🙂